November 11, 2003

International Dairy Queen
7505 Metro Blvd.
Minneapolis, MN 55439


Dear Frosty Friends,

I have existed for approximately nineteen years, but despite my best efforts, I stil have yet to experience what is known as a "brain freeze." My friends constantly brag about some recent, intense brain freeze they experiencedat Dairy Queen. I usually conjure up similar stories, but I think they really know I am lying, incapable of experienceing the brain freeze.

Last Thursday I visted your Beeville, Texas location with an unusualy determination to finally experience the brain freeze. I consumed one of your baby cones in a single bite with no result, except for a few stares. I decided to stop folling around and devour an dentire "Blizzard" in thirty seconds or less, hoping it would provide a more potent affect. I set my stop watch and went to work, consuming the Blizzard (cookie dough flavored) with a rapid fervor, providing me with a few more puzzled glances. I found myself blushing intensely, yet continuing my pursuit in a quicker, more private manner (less singing) to finish off the blizzard. Still, no brain freeze. I left Beevill that day, with more sham ethan usual, sufficiently represented by an embarrassing ice cream stain on my shirt.

I was hoping you, Dary Queen, the source, could provide me with the advice need to adequately produce the brain freeze. Is there a specific technique to sufficiently create the brain freeze that I am unaware of (besides wolfing down ice cream), or am I perhaps genetically incapable of experiencing the brain freeze? Please get back to me on this. My social status in my weird clique depends on it.

I look forward to a hasty reply.


Sincerely,



Desiree Policky