It's a bad genre.
- Tenure candidate describing the tenure statement as a literary format
He gives good letter.
- Description of a potential external reviewer
You'll work on it longer than any other paper, but it will never get
published.
- Tenure candidate's description of writing the tenure statement
And the best of all...
I am pleased to inform you that your promotion to Associate Professor with
Indefinite Tenure has been approved.
- Letter from the provost